- In bed – 9.46pm
- Lights off – 11.41pm
- Woke up – 9.00am
I did work, writing, singing today. My awareness was ok, RC seems to be a bit worse recently. In-bed had really good mantra’s and meditation.
Dreams
4.20am – I was growing my own little indoor garden pond, coaxing the water lilies and other plants into bloom. I needed to grow better plants to get more points (of course there are points involved, everything has points). I wanted to grow various things, but then found out that I had already grown them.
6.11am – I almost decided not to listen to music here, but I was still comfortable on my back, so I did. Around 40 minutes of soft piano music from Final Fantasy, with strong meditation and mantra (lost it a few times, but I really tried). I thought I was going to fall asleep with the music but I didn’t. So taking it off and then another 30 minutes or so spent rolling around in bed until I finally slept. I was sitting up in bed with my girlfriend next to me. But I had the weirdest feeling in my body, like my skin was tingling with pins and needles, but the most intense and deepest I’ve ever felt it, in my muscles not just the skin. I decided to RC and was very surprised to find I was dreaming again, so sure that I was awake. There was no elation or excitement, just a calm acceptance (how I want it to be really, as excitement is prone to waking the dreamer up). I stood now, trying to walk across the room but it was very difficult; even just standing as though I should have been pinned in the prone position, (which of course I should have been, but it never even entered my mind that I was defying nature etc.). My head was tilted to one side, so the whole room was 90 degrees shifted to the right, and I couldn’t correct it. Trying to go downstairs made it even worse, so much harder, so I stayed upstairs and went into the bathroom with my girlfriend (now a study of some kind). We looked out of the window over a forested valley which shouldn’t have been there, I began to think of all the plans I had for my dreams once I had become lucid, and decided that I should stick to the simple tasks this time, and try to affect small things, rather than trying some grand gesture or scene change. There would be plenty of other opportunities in the months and years to come to perfect that. My girlfriend was busy putting a CD into the N64, which was weird, but stranger was that it turned out to be the internet. I know I wasn’t lucid for the whole dream, but I must have been for most of it as when she decided that the wanted to look at porn online, I saw my opportunity. I though hard of the first pornographic phrase to pop into my head (I genuinely don’t remember what the phrase was) and we sat there for a minute or so with me trying to psychically pass this thought into her mind. In the end I think I found it too difficult as I took to whispering it ever so slightly. She heard this, incorrectly I should add, and then went off to talk about a straw Night’s Watchmen from the ‘Ice and Fire’ series.
7.12am – I attempted to briefly DEILD after my lucid dream, or maybe just to slip back into it, as I had already moved. But I didn’t want to risk losing the lucid dream to my memory. I fell asleep again and was back in my room, similar beginning to the above, but no awareness of strangeness to spark this thinking. I was explaining to my brother and girlfriend exactly what had happened in my lucid dream. As if my brain was teasing me, dangling it in front of me immediately afterwards. “Look what I can do, and you can’t.” Jerk.
Woohoo! Lucid again and it feels great. I would call it a WBTB, as I was fully awake for a good while before sleeping again. I just wish I didn’t have to lose 2 hours of sleep to do it, as I like having lots of day to use. It’s so hard to tell just how much of it is actually lucid and how much control I have over things or how much I and following a dream controlled narrative that has been altered by my original discovery. I know there were things, details of the dreamscape that I had no control over and no choice about, the forest outside the bathroom window and the internet use for example, in fact most of the dream would fall into the category of out of my control, but the fact that I was still consciously (was I really conscious though? Will I ever know?) trying to affect the reality, surely shows a maintained lucidity.